In no particular order

• You are a naturally heavy sweater. The amount you sweat will border on concerning and preposterous but that’s just how your body does and there’s nothing wrong with that
• You need to warm up. Yes, every time. It may seem tedious but you’ll thank yourself later
• Always, always, ALWAYS, empty yourself before you go on a run even if it’s just a suspicion. Otherwise you will be forced to do some things you will not be proud of.
• It’s going to suck for much longer than you think but only if you try to do too much too fast. Take your time and give yourself grace. 
• Your actual pace is irrelevant. There are people that can run 2 miles in the time it takes you to run 1. And that’s totally fine, and you don’t need to try to become that fast person! The sooner you start running to run and not running to reach an unattainable goal, the sooner you’ll actually enjoy running. Comparison is the thief of joy my guy
• You WILL enjoy running. Eventually. 
• Get some GD good running headphones that loop over your ears and treat them well because otherwise you will burn through them like crazy.
• Even after you get consistent at running you’re going to have bad days where you just aren’t into it. Run anyway. The consistency is worth it and you’ll always feel better that you did
• It can be too; cold, hot, windy, or rainy to run. You have nothing to prove or gain by ignoring your gut. Be sensible or be sorry
• At least for your feet the whole neutral, over pronation, under pronation stuff is useless. Just get a shoe that doesn’t hurt and roll with it. Saucony and Brooks all the way
• Your feet are totally whack. They’ll carry you further than you ever thought, but they are whack
• Your toenails can fall off from running too much. Yup. 
• The "Runner's High" is real! It doesn't happen often but it does happen
• Nipple chafing is also real and can/will happen to you if you aren't careful
• Hills are weakness but you *can* do them
• You can run further and faster than you give yourself credit for
• Keep running. Even when you don't want to. It's one of the best decisions you've ever made
• If you let them dry, you totally can wear the same outfit multiple times. It'll start off gross but then you'll realize how often you have to wash your clothes otherwise and you'll get over it real fast
• Don’t listen to what anyone says, run commando it’s fine.
• YOU. NEED .TO. STRETCH!